The beginning..

of another exam season.

Not exactly true, I am in the midst of CLT but Im pretty much done with it.

Now have to prep for Prop and Company. Its getting tough. I feel the stress. I feel my heart shrink just thinking about the amount of work i have to get through in the next 2 weeks. But Im trying, believe me, I am.

Btw, I gained back the weight I lost during internship. Oh well, its expected, i guess, Ive been eating like no one else's business but Im determined to ignore that for the moment. My focus now is on Prop and Company. Nothing else. Ill still go for tkd this week to get my weekly dose of exercise, but that's it. I just hope its enof to prevent myself from getting sick, what with the weird weather and weakened immune system.

I'll try to blog more often too. its my outlet. not many people knows of this blog so i can really rant. Unlike my hotmail blog which is just for fun. I dont really like people to know my innermost thoughts and concerns, its like being naked in front of everyone, its too unnerving.

Anyways, Ive also decided to add something random everytime I blog. this time, its a wu liao quiz of sort: what does my height say about me? they dont really have my exact height, about 171

What Your Height Says About You

You are cheerful, expressive, and creative. You have the heart of an artist, and the whole world is your art project. You are the type of person who says “yes” a lot. You are optimistic and giving. You also love a challenge. You enjoy accomplishing the impossible. You are about as tall as the average Japanese man or the average Dutch woman.

What Does Your Height Say About You?

When the going gets tough..

I really shouldn't be doing this but I just feel like i gotta do some ranting.

We have an assignment for 'recess' week (my ass) but I dunno what Im doing! Ive been reading but not comprehending, typing but not understanding. Im scared shitless! Everytime I think about exams and assignments my insides shrink.

I dont want another D! I dont want another dissappointment! I dont want to cry silently! AGAIN.

What I do want:
Get decent grades (ie B average)
Get moving (exercise my dear!)
Lose weight (healthily)
Be happy (as always)
Make new, real friends

Im trying, I really am, despite all the excuses but Im not sure Im capable of it.

Scratch that, I can i know I CAN!


Signing off

Trying hard,
LiLz

CAKES!!!

Just bought 2 cakes fr Coffee bean at S$5.95!! Damn cheap and of course, they are ALWAYS good.
Had a taste of it (still in office, cant really just eat the whole thing) but OOooOoooo... cant wait. Its really very cheap LOR. hahahah.. Felt a bit off when the cashier told me, S$ 5.55. lolz...

Imagine getting 4 slices of cakes (incl meringue, cheese, chocolate) at only S$ 11. Too good to be true? No way. Not sure why they have such a promotion but they have it everyday so you definitely wont get cakes tat are bad, as in, not edible or 'sour'. Maybe coz they dont get many clients at night? Even just now I only see the people who were seated only drinking stuff and not having any of the cheap cakes. mayb its beneath them, bleh!

Anyway, dont care what people think as long as 'I' get benefit fr it. :D

I never thought its so boring!

Its my 2nd day at work and Im doing nothing! Yesterday, the other interns thought it was cool that I was doing SOMETHING on my first day but Im given nothing today, AT ALL! I think it has something to do with my position in the office. Its too far from where all the lawyers are. Out of sight, out of mind. Plus, its so near to the pantry that I can eat all day without fail. Its quite stocked really, tea, coffee, cookies, mee in cup etc. Way cool but I want work! Im not the makan gaji for nothing kind lor... Ergh, If this continues, Im not coming back next week.

Shell-shocked

My Yr 1 2nd Sem grades are pretty shitty but Im over it, just gotta make sure it doesnt happen again but I was in store for another shock. The list of those getting Dean's List just came out and quite a few people in the list were pretty unexpected (for me). He got in too. Im ShOCKED! Not to say he is lousy or watever but i never thought he's tat good. I have to say, Im Proud. Im so happy for him. One thing for sure, i have an extra impetus to work harder. I can do it! I am sooo not beneath him. I slipped, thats all. Not gonna happen again, I swear.

This is a partial list of what I plan for next sem:
1) get 'B's, AT LEAST.
2) get my weight under 55kg. Im way overweight now and frankly, Im not liking it.
3) gonna join some debate tournaments (2 reasons: i need the points, i need the practice)
4) gonna work part-time; monthly salary aim: $ 100 (start low lar...)

From what I can see, this covers pretty much every aspect of my life, we'll c how it goes, promise i will update. my plan of getting my weight under 60kg before going back seems unlikely now but i promise i wont forget my ultimate goal. I Want to feel good. I Want to look good. Oledi have plans to undergo a meal replacement regime for the 1st month i go back (for the internship). C what happens then. I know it aint a permanent solution but i want fast results then try to keep it at that. keep thinking about going for diet supplements but am extremely worried itll be harmful so will try simpler ones 1st before going for drastic measures, hope i wont have to get to that.

Going Crazy

Have been meaning to do a Legal Theory essay this morning but ended up doing more revision on the topic. Feel so useless, i have read more than half of the readings but still dunno how to do the questions. No doubt, i am incredibly worried about the exams coz its 2 compulsory questions in 2 hrs, close-booked. What if I dunno wat she is asking? Wat if i totally blanked out? without any books at all, Id probably die.

Legal Theory really isnt tat bad a topic. It is interesting to read ppl's view and the thrashing tat goes with it but when it comes to MY view, well, I just dont have one. even if I do, my view is totally my own and i rilli dunno how to substantiate it with the very freaking chim readings we were given. I like abit here, abit there, and a whole lot of criticism. Argh.. its making me wanna just ........... AAARGGHH!

Ok, its out, gotta continue. Next up: Robert Alexy's 'D Argument fr Injustice: A Reply to Legal Positivism'

1st Taste

Of alcohol.... Ya, I actually had a taste of alcohol, specifically vodka, outside home tonight. No, it wasnt at a club or pub or anything... It was at a barbeque. Im so glad i went. Made some new frens and reinforced old frenships, u gotta right, sharing the same cup of drink?

It really wasnt too bad but din rilli leave an impression. Turns out it had 40% concentration of alcohol. Freaking bitter really. got the unripe banana/mango feel: 'giap' :D Id say i had 1/4 of a small paper cup, not much, admittedly, din get drunk but i oso din have the 'red face' thing happening either. I had wanted to c whether i get 'red face' easily, guess not, but a fren did tho... Gotta try out my jiu3 liang4 when i go home. We have whiskey and red wine i think, but i never liked red wine, find them too dry for my taste. Loved whiskey's fire though! Mayb coz i never tried the rilli high quality ones. I mean, there muz b a reason ppl like to drink right? right?

Finish the post with a bit of trivia: Alcohol is a depressant (unbelievable? Believe it!)

An Afternoon at Holland V

I really have to control myself!! 1 afternoon out and S$80 gone! hhahahhaha... not on anything good oso....

1st, the food:
Provence - read raves about their bread (its a bakery) and tot of going (again, coz i went before but din pay much attention). Gotta say, their coffee smells good.. Coz they hav this cafe thing going on and Hhmmm... nice... but i din get tho... juz the bread (3 piece + 1 half loaf) oledi cost me S$7.70. Not cheap.. 3 PGP chicken rice but i finish the 3 small pieces d! Nothing special, i tot. The bread wasnt soft or anything neither was the chocolate very pure... feels like custard...

Starbucks - yes! finally... haven indulged in coffee tis sem til now but Im pretty disappointed. Got iced caramel macchiato which was SWEET!! caramel is nice but I cannot tahan the sweetness, rilli too much for me... can even finish my cup of coffee.,.. wat a waste!

Spent the most on Nails, did manicure at Lush Nails... the place was ok, provided green tea but i tot the girl was too quiet... i was b.o.r.e.d.... how can i not??? cannot touch anything... But the real reason i went was coz i broke my nail and i wanted to get it 'repaired' they call it 'silk wrap'. I was contemplating getting a manicure but i tot it too expensive. Alaz, the powers tat be has other plans.. Broke my nail during lunch. I took it as a sign i should try the place out :P
Am considering going for pedicure next coz they seem to do the whole scrub and all tat... and i need it, wat with the rough thick skin on my feet! but the basic price is S$ 33.. haiz... where got so much $$$????

Suan4 Ming4 LoL

Got to know of it from another blog... Do u think its correct?

Apparently, regardless of how magical the 'master', he/it/she? dunno if Im a female or male :P
Can try it here..
http://www.fatemaster.tw/name.php?n1=%E6%AC%A7&n2=%E9%BA%97%E8%8E%B2&button2=%E7%AE%97%E5%91%BD

Cant say its all correct though... I DUN form groups or boycott or jadi batu api k?? i hate ppl like tat. I dun control other ppl's tots.

More li2 pu3 is the outward and actions part.

外表溫柔???? Hahahhaha.... My foot!

*事情會自己全部攬起來做 -- actually i try to get the less work positions, am prob one of the most lazy person on earth!

*有時太愛計較，讓自己很累 -- rilli meh? u judge lor.

*個性比較保守，做事相對也比較安份 -- will seem that way but trust me, if i follow my instincts all the time, things will be WAAAY different!

欧麗莲 的內在想法

女生

*頭腦反應快，模仿學習力強
*個性主動積極，但也急性子
*在不如自己意時會搞小團體，或者做一些挑撥的事
*性格比較激烈急躁，是個耐心不足的女孩子
*對自己要求比較嚴格，在團隊中也不甘願認輸，比較好強

男生

*想得比較多，簡單的事也常常想到很複雜
*頭腦不錯，求學時成績良好，很會做筆記
*個性主動、積極，比較會去配合他人
*對於不熟的人防禦心比較強
*看起來很好說話，但倔強起來比石頭還硬

欧麗莲 的外在行為

女生

*外表溫柔內心倔強的人，內心嚴重的缺乏安全感
*佔有慾會顯得比較強烈，常常會不安
*事情會自己全部攬起來做，比較勞碌命
*有時太愛計較，讓自己很累
*個性比較保守，做事相對也比較安份

男生

*沒什麼安全感，很怕失去生活中所擁有
*對於自己有利的事就會斤斤計較，不放過自己的利益
*不關自己的事就會顯得懶懶的，不予理會
*做事很有效率，速度非常快
*一開始覺得很有親和力，但被發現自私後，就會疏遠

Being Emo??

I have just finished Memorial 1 last weekend. Another lousy paper but at least its over... D weirdest thing is, i dont feel a sense of relief. I guess I did when i uploaded the paper but deep inside, the stone is not lifted. As a kind of a break from school work I did not study for 2 days but, curiously enough, i felt guilty about it. Its like, Im wrong to not be as hardworking as i can be, as if thats all my like should b about. When did i become that kind of a person?

I still remember my days in KL, freaking carefree. Whenever Im bored, Ill drop by Midvalley for an afternoon while everyone went home to prepare for tutorials and all. I still do that at times but instead of feeling happy, I feel guilty. Is that why Singaporeans all seem to like shopping to death? Going out on weekdays, i was hoping to skip the crowds but alas, it was not meant to be. At F21 on Monday, I had to queue at the fitting room? Tangs was crowded too! What are all those people doing at shopping malls at 11am on a weekday? Or are they like me, shopping to feel better when they know they should not?

Life is tough here, the fittest survive. Seeing how people are concerned with their kid's schoolwork is proof. If you get First Class, u got a high chance of becoming a judge and they get paid A LOT. Its a totally diff thing back home. Luck and connections are what people hope they have. Getting all this out is making things clear for me as to why i feel how i feel. Im scared of losing out. Worried about not 'making it'. Am i being 'Singaporean-ised'??

Feeling Bad (Warning: Angry Post Ahead!)

What The Hell!!??!!!?
I got a C- for my Stat Memo! My prob is not just that the grade sucks like shit but that I actually spent time on it!! i cant believe this. This is the worst grade I got for this year. And, frankly, I think its the worst 1 can get coz AY said no one got a D meaning the worst would be C-. Quite frankly, I know my work aint perfect but C- basically implies that either Im just so dumb that I never learn or that my intellect has gone down the drain. Getting the same grade, aka C/C+ is worse enough but going down gradient totally suck! The fact is that I worked on it. Period. Give me some credit for that, for Christ's sake! What about the 'u get what u sow' shit?? I have always believed in that. Guess if ppl are using fertilizers and you are not, lagging behind is on the cards. Im not angry that she gave me such a grade, Im angry at myself for getting such a grade! And, quite frankly, i dont know how to improve on it other than re-reading Neumann and doing MORE research but considering the Memo is due this Saturday and that I have Crim and Legal Theory AND ctt tutorial, I dont know how to deal! SHit Shit Shit....

Teacher and Gang

Its been a while, hasnt it? Flew in on the 11th of Jan and its now 13th Feb. About a month has gone past since the semester started and I have gotta say, Im swamped! LoL... who isn't? Well, lets not talk about less-than-happy stuff, which by the way includes my celebration of Chinese New Year, lets talk about.. a movie. This post is going to be about a movie I saw on Reunion Night: Teacher Married Gangster (translated fr Chinese coz I dont know its English title).

Frankly, the newspaper dissed the movie but it turned out to be a high-grossing Singapore movie. Higher than any of those made before. Its director even noted word-of-mouth as the reason. Imho, the movie aint TAT good but rather than the acting, plot and all, I have more problems with THE WAY THEY PORTRAYED MSIA.

First, they show M'sia as this place where gangsters are rampant. Maybe its true (I honestly dont know) but they are not running all over the place!! Not in broad daylight!! The scene where people were fighting along the walkways was so preposterous I did not know whether to laugh or cry! It reminded me of Bollywood movies I used to watch as a child while thinking, where are the police?

Second, WHEN a figure of authority came, it came in the form of a security guard who seemed to be oblivious to the fact that it was a real gang fight. He was shown as a stupid person who really should not be in the position of maintaining order at all. What the?!?!? Msian policemen may be slack but trust me, when thrust in the limelight, where they can SHOW people they are doing their work, they do it! Esp in KL, where the top people are situated. Probably why KL is now where crime rate is highest, JB is.

Third, Msian Chinese do NOT sound like that!! Gosh... and the paper even remarked that the accent by the lead actor sounded authentic..... Bullocks... I cant even understand the way they structure the sentences and some of the words they used. Gotta feeling they did not do enough homework beforehand and is using the expressions wrongly. Ha! Dumbass... Dont act smart when you are not!

Anyway, there is no mistaken the accuracy of the lead actress' Cantonese. Am honestly perplexed as to whether or not it was dubbed. It sounded SO REAL. It also featured quite a few Msians: KK, MyFM DJ LDR etc. Unfortunately, they are so NOT famous that my friend did not know they were Msians and was amazed at their Canton. LOL...

This post seems abit angry, dont you think... I guess I did feel abit of that when watching the movie. Understanding that it IS make-believe does not help. Why dont they film in Sg? Why Msia?? Keep going Msia-Sg triad but most footage are from Msia, y? Like it or not, movies like that are watched, by Singaporeans. Already most of them have a lousy image of Msia as a lawless society. As close as the two countries are, many locals Ive met have never really been to Msia, even if they did, they usually flew, which meant the destination was cities like KL or attractions like Mt Kinabalu. Y?? Because they dont understand us. We already have the lousy relations between the two governments. We really dont need a movie like this to exacerbate the situation. Sheesh....

Preparation

Not quite, haha... Haven started packing at all even though my flight is this Friday (Note: Time now is 8.22pm Wed). But, Im trying to be prepared for the mess that is waiting for me back in Sg. Checked out my classes. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how u see it, I dun hav a single class with Him. I guess I still have lectures which is about twice a week where every1 will have to be in class, preferably. How can this have happened???? Even when they split the class into half, leaving a 50/50 chance for us to be in the same class, we arent. I guess things are just not meant to be. Lol.. Fate... There's no going against it.

To be frank, I really dont know what attracts me to him. Yeah, he's not exactly bad-looking, but so is another half a dozen or more guys in my year! There's no explanation in matters of the heart :P

Lets have an update of what happened in the last month i was at home. I got a new phone. Not the one i was hoping for, NK 5610 but a cheaper one 6120 but to tell the truth, other than the outer shell and the No of mega pixels of the phone, I dont rilli know the difference. A good phone with lots of functions is totally useless for me. I dont even know how to operate the bluetooth function! I only want a better phone coz i wanted a slide phone and camera. Talk about being simple. Why cant Nokia produce an affordable (note: under Rm1000), slim, slidephone with camera, preferably around 5MP. I honestly, couldn't care less about web-surfing and Bluetooth. I have memory cards and my laptop for that! Shows you what the people 'higher up' really knows about needs of ordinary ppl.