Tuesday, April 7

Tired

I'm not stressed, at least i donot feel like it, i just feel crazily tired. I am barely awake the whole day. even on the bus, I have trouble ensuring that I keep my eyes open. This is very strange. I was not even reading anything. Actually, i find some of my readings quite interesting.

I am worried. Worried as to whether I am down with something. Whether Im coming down with depression. I am not making this up. I hate feeling what I feel. this is the first time Im NOT feeling tired and sleepy, but I think its the effect of caffeine in my Tea. I wish I know what is happening. Why I can't just be lazy and know it. I hate feeling like this. I want to know what is happening. I want to feel responsible to what happens to myself, good or bad.

Oh, Im feeling some pain in my left shoulder blade. About 2 weeks ago, I had some chest pain when I breath. it lasted for about a day. At some times, it was so bad I had to bend over to take a breath.

I need to focus. Live in the moment. Concentrate on what is important: school, study, Public Law, Equity and Trusts. THEY ARE MY LIFE NOW. Until 5th May. Nothing else matters, including pain, sleep, food.

Now I just need to convince myself of it.