I have just finished Memorial 1 last weekend. Another lousy paper but at least its over... D weirdest thing is, i dont feel a sense of relief. I guess I did when i uploaded the paper but deep inside, the stone is not lifted. As a kind of a break from school work I did not study for 2 days but, curiously enough, i felt guilty about it. Its like, Im wrong to not be as hardworking as i can be, as if thats all my like should b about. When did i become that kind of a person?
I still remember my days in KL, freaking carefree. Whenever Im bored, Ill drop by Midvalley for an afternoon while everyone went home to prepare for tutorials and all. I still do that at times but instead of feeling happy, I feel guilty. Is that why Singaporeans all seem to like shopping to death? Going out on weekdays, i was hoping to skip the crowds but alas, it was not meant to be. At F21 on Monday, I had to queue at the fitting room? Tangs was crowded too! What are all those people doing at shopping malls at 11am on a weekday? Or are they like me, shopping to feel better when they know they should not?
Life is tough here, the fittest survive. Seeing how people are concerned with their kid's schoolwork is proof. If you get First Class, u got a high chance of becoming a judge and they get paid A LOT. Its a totally diff thing back home. Luck and connections are what people hope they have. Getting all this out is making things clear for me as to why i feel how i feel. Im scared of losing out. Worried about not 'making it'. Am i being 'Singaporean-ised'??
Wednesday, February 27
Monday, February 18
Feeling Bad (Warning: Angry Post Ahead!)
What The Hell!!??!!!?
I got a C- for my Stat Memo! My prob is not just that the grade sucks like shit but that I actually spent time on it!! i cant believe this. This is the worst grade I got for this year. And, frankly, I think its the worst 1 can get coz AY said no one got a D meaning the worst would be C-. Quite frankly, I know my work aint perfect but C- basically implies that either Im just so dumb that I never learn or that my intellect has gone down the drain. Getting the same grade, aka C/C+ is worse enough but going down gradient totally suck! The fact is that I worked on it. Period. Give me some credit for that, for Christ's sake! What about the 'u get what u sow' shit?? I have always believed in that. Guess if ppl are using fertilizers and you are not, lagging behind is on the cards. Im not angry that she gave me such a grade, Im angry at myself for getting such a grade! And, quite frankly, i dont know how to improve on it other than re-reading Neumann and doing MORE research but considering the Memo is due this Saturday and that I have Crim and Legal Theory AND ctt tutorial, I dont know how to deal! SHit Shit Shit....
I got a C- for my Stat Memo! My prob is not just that the grade sucks like shit but that I actually spent time on it!! i cant believe this. This is the worst grade I got for this year. And, frankly, I think its the worst 1 can get coz AY said no one got a D meaning the worst would be C-. Quite frankly, I know my work aint perfect but C- basically implies that either Im just so dumb that I never learn or that my intellect has gone down the drain. Getting the same grade, aka C/C+ is worse enough but going down gradient totally suck! The fact is that I worked on it. Period. Give me some credit for that, for Christ's sake! What about the 'u get what u sow' shit?? I have always believed in that. Guess if ppl are using fertilizers and you are not, lagging behind is on the cards. Im not angry that she gave me such a grade, Im angry at myself for getting such a grade! And, quite frankly, i dont know how to improve on it other than re-reading Neumann and doing MORE research but considering the Memo is due this Saturday and that I have Crim and Legal Theory AND ctt tutorial, I dont know how to deal! SHit Shit Shit....
Wednesday, February 13
Teacher and Gang
Its been a while, hasnt it? Flew in on the 11th of Jan and its now 13th Feb. About a month has gone past since the semester started and I have gotta say, Im swamped! LoL... who isn't? Well, lets not talk about less-than-happy stuff, which by the way includes my celebration of Chinese New Year, lets talk about.. a movie. This post is going to be about a movie I saw on Reunion Night: Teacher Married Gangster (translated fr Chinese coz I dont know its English title).
Frankly, the newspaper dissed the movie but it turned out to be a high-grossing Singapore movie. Higher than any of those made before. Its director even noted word-of-mouth as the reason. Imho, the movie aint TAT good but rather than the acting, plot and all, I have more problems with THE WAY THEY PORTRAYED MSIA.
First, they show M'sia as this place where gangsters are rampant. Maybe its true (I honestly dont know) but they are not running all over the place!! Not in broad daylight!! The scene where people were fighting along the walkways was so preposterous I did not know whether to laugh or cry! It reminded me of Bollywood movies I used to watch as a child while thinking, where are the police?
Second, WHEN a figure of authority came, it came in the form of a security guard who seemed to be oblivious to the fact that it was a real gang fight. He was shown as a stupid person who really should not be in the position of maintaining order at all. What the?!?!? Msian policemen may be slack but trust me, when thrust in the limelight, where they can SHOW people they are doing their work, they do it! Esp in KL, where the top people are situated. Probably why KL is now where crime rate is highest, JB is.
Third, Msian Chinese do NOT sound like that!! Gosh... and the paper even remarked that the accent by the lead actor sounded authentic..... Bullocks... I cant even understand the way they structure the sentences and some of the words they used. Gotta feeling they did not do enough homework beforehand and is using the expressions wrongly. Ha! Dumbass... Dont act smart when you are not!
Anyway, there is no mistaken the accuracy of the lead actress' Cantonese. Am honestly perplexed as to whether or not it was dubbed. It sounded SO REAL. It also featured quite a few Msians: KK, MyFM DJ LDR etc. Unfortunately, they are so NOT famous that my friend did not know they were Msians and was amazed at their Canton. LOL...
This post seems abit angry, dont you think... I guess I did feel abit of that when watching the movie. Understanding that it IS make-believe does not help. Why dont they film in Sg? Why Msia?? Keep going Msia-Sg triad but most footage are from Msia, y? Like it or not, movies like that are watched, by Singaporeans. Already most of them have a lousy image of Msia as a lawless society. As close as the two countries are, many locals Ive met have never really been to Msia, even if they did, they usually flew, which meant the destination was cities like KL or attractions like Mt Kinabalu. Y?? Because they dont understand us. We already have the lousy relations between the two governments. We really dont need a movie like this to exacerbate the situation. Sheesh....
Frankly, the newspaper dissed the movie but it turned out to be a high-grossing Singapore movie. Higher than any of those made before. Its director even noted word-of-mouth as the reason. Imho, the movie aint TAT good but rather than the acting, plot and all, I have more problems with THE WAY THEY PORTRAYED MSIA.
First, they show M'sia as this place where gangsters are rampant. Maybe its true (I honestly dont know) but they are not running all over the place!! Not in broad daylight!! The scene where people were fighting along the walkways was so preposterous I did not know whether to laugh or cry! It reminded me of Bollywood movies I used to watch as a child while thinking, where are the police?
Second, WHEN a figure of authority came, it came in the form of a security guard who seemed to be oblivious to the fact that it was a real gang fight. He was shown as a stupid person who really should not be in the position of maintaining order at all. What the?!?!? Msian policemen may be slack but trust me, when thrust in the limelight, where they can SHOW people they are doing their work, they do it! Esp in KL, where the top people are situated. Probably why KL is now where crime rate is highest, JB is.
Third, Msian Chinese do NOT sound like that!! Gosh... and the paper even remarked that the accent by the lead actor sounded authentic..... Bullocks... I cant even understand the way they structure the sentences and some of the words they used. Gotta feeling they did not do enough homework beforehand and is using the expressions wrongly. Ha! Dumbass... Dont act smart when you are not!
Anyway, there is no mistaken the accuracy of the lead actress' Cantonese. Am honestly perplexed as to whether or not it was dubbed. It sounded SO REAL. It also featured quite a few Msians: KK, MyFM DJ LDR etc. Unfortunately, they are so NOT famous that my friend did not know they were Msians and was amazed at their Canton. LOL...
This post seems abit angry, dont you think... I guess I did feel abit of that when watching the movie. Understanding that it IS make-believe does not help. Why dont they film in Sg? Why Msia?? Keep going Msia-Sg triad but most footage are from Msia, y? Like it or not, movies like that are watched, by Singaporeans. Already most of them have a lousy image of Msia as a lawless society. As close as the two countries are, many locals Ive met have never really been to Msia, even if they did, they usually flew, which meant the destination was cities like KL or attractions like Mt Kinabalu. Y?? Because they dont understand us. We already have the lousy relations between the two governments. We really dont need a movie like this to exacerbate the situation. Sheesh....
Wednesday, January 9
Preparation
Not quite, haha... Haven started packing at all even though my flight is this Friday (Note: Time now is 8.22pm Wed). But, Im trying to be prepared for the mess that is waiting for me back in Sg. Checked out my classes. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how u see it, I dun hav a single class with Him. I guess I still have lectures which is about twice a week where every1 will have to be in class, preferably. How can this have happened???? Even when they split the class into half, leaving a 50/50 chance for us to be in the same class, we arent. I guess things are just not meant to be. Lol.. Fate... There's no going against it.
To be frank, I really dont know what attracts me to him. Yeah, he's not exactly bad-looking, but so is another half a dozen or more guys in my year! There's no explanation in matters of the heart :P
Lets have an update of what happened in the last month i was at home. I got a new phone. Not the one i was hoping for, NK 5610 but a cheaper one 6120 but to tell the truth, other than the outer shell and the No of mega pixels of the phone, I dont rilli know the difference. A good phone with lots of functions is totally useless for me. I dont even know how to operate the bluetooth function! I only want a better phone coz i wanted a slide phone and camera. Talk about being simple. Why cant Nokia produce an affordable (note: under Rm1000), slim, slidephone with camera, preferably around 5MP. I honestly, couldn't care less about web-surfing and Bluetooth. I have memory cards and my laptop for that! Shows you what the people 'higher up' really knows about needs of ordinary ppl.
To be frank, I really dont know what attracts me to him. Yeah, he's not exactly bad-looking, but so is another half a dozen or more guys in my year! There's no explanation in matters of the heart :P
Lets have an update of what happened in the last month i was at home. I got a new phone. Not the one i was hoping for, NK 5610 but a cheaper one 6120 but to tell the truth, other than the outer shell and the No of mega pixels of the phone, I dont rilli know the difference. A good phone with lots of functions is totally useless for me. I dont even know how to operate the bluetooth function! I only want a better phone coz i wanted a slide phone and camera. Talk about being simple. Why cant Nokia produce an affordable (note: under Rm1000), slim, slidephone with camera, preferably around 5MP. I honestly, couldn't care less about web-surfing and Bluetooth. I have memory cards and my laptop for that! Shows you what the people 'higher up' really knows about needs of ordinary ppl.
Wednesday, December 5
Scared
Let me just say this, the post below is a joke! Nothing beats wat i feel rite now. Im writing this on the eve of my last paper - Contract. Its only a test rilli but i feel SOOO nervous. I cant think. Believe or not last night i only had long naps. I actually woke up to study in the middle of the night. I have no idea y, other than the fact that Im prob gonna screw the test up in a HUGE way, y i am so worried. Usu, Id just b nonchalant, it IS just a test. Usually, Id just b so excited its d last paper that Id b thinking how to celebrate. But not this time.. I am a wreck.. i broke down at least twice this afternoon. I rilli need to learn to cope with the pressure. I never felt like this. Exams are oni part of life, not life itself. I know this so y am i feeling this way! Tried taking a nap, cant. I did everything i can think of. Someone save me!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)